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The Sands of Love
Title: The Sands of Love
Authors: lirimaerea, wiseravenclaw
Fandom: Naruto
Pairings: GaaraxOC, ItachixOC, KisamexOC, HidanxOC, KakuzuxOC, NarutoxOC, SasukexOC, LeexOC, EveryonexOC
Warnings: This fic is not brainsafe. If you ship hardcore, are easily offended, or have absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever, this is the fanfiction for you.
Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto, Bleach, Fight Club, or Batman. Naruto, however, owns us.



So much for all the promises you made, they served you well
and now you're gone and they're wasted on me.
So much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well
and now it's gone and you're wasted on me.

Alicia Quincy opened her cornflower blue eyes and pushed her luminous blonde hair out of her perfectly infallible face. In the morning sunlight her eyes shone like a brand new quarter, straight off the Franklin Mint, abandoned in the streets of DC. She shook with exasperating terror as Dashboard Confessional’s Rapid Hope Loss ran through her mind. “Rapid hope loss indeed.” she muttered under her breath. Images of her vastly psychotic horrifically abusive former insignificant other filled her troubled mind. A lone tear dropped down her perfectly shaped cheek, staining the flawless skin of her neck. Days that began with thoughts of him, no matter how sunny, always seemed to end with the darkest nights of pain and suffering. Thoughts of him tormented her, only adding to her already tragic existence. Perhaps the most disturbing image that haunted her psyche was the blood running down his dilapidated wrist as he cut himself to the melancholy strains of Chris Carrabba’s lugubrious voice. She would never forget those Conner Oberst eyes staring up her in despair.

Alicia sighed begrudgingly and rolled out of bed. She struggled into her black pants that were fashionably two sizes too small and pulled on her oversized Fall Out Boy t-shirt. Sizing herself up in the full length mirror, she realized that even though the shirt was far too big, it was utterly incapable of hiding her perfectly shaped curves. With a disapproving sigh, she pulled on her dilapidated Doc Martens, grabbed her Hawthorne Heights messenger bag, and after checking to make sure she had her iPod, she ran downstairs. In a concerted effort to avoid her tempestuous mother and temperamental father she quietly grabbed a strawberry Pop-Tart and silently made her way out the door. Relieved to have made it outdoors without being detected, she turned on her iPod and began to relax to the soothing sounds of Linkin Park.

She shielded her eyes from the sun as she walked to school contemplating last night’s episode of Naruto on Cartoon Network. “How could my Gadda be so ignored by those ignorant fools? They should cower in his very presence…can’t they tell that all he really needs is acceptance and love?” She was torn from her thoughts by a group of guys from her school wearing girl pants, their hair adorned with butterfly clips of every color. “Want to go to the Get Up Kids show, love? I’ve got tickets for Friday night!” One of the boys yelled out across the busy street. When Alicia realized that pretending she didn’t understand them was futile, she merely shook her head and replied, “Sorry, I’ve got plans…” The boys seemed disappointed, and one of them called out, “Why don’t you ever leave the house, babe, don’t you know there is life outside your T.V. set?” Alicia rolled her eyes and sneered at him saying, “I’m not a pig in the city, you know.”

As she walked away from them in disgust, her mind wandered to Gaara, the empty-eyed insomniac from her dreams. For a reason unbeknownst to her, she had always felt a certain vivid connection to that mysterious sand nin. The shrill cry of the school bell woke her from her thoughts. The day stretched endless before her as she faced the prospect of yet another day without Naruto, and without hope. Suddenly, she was hit with a random craving to shop for a mattress. The oddity of this appetite did not occur to her. On a whim, she decided to skip school so that she could satiate her hearts desire. When she arrived at Sleepy’s, the ever familiar tune of Mister Sandman came flowing out of the speakers and diffused across the store. The irony was lost on her. Inexplicably, her cornflower blue eyes were drawn to a certain display across the back wall. And there he was, standing dejectedly before the latest model of Temperpedic mattress. His red hair was the first thing that drew her attention; it was violent and unruly much like he was. She then glanced at the large gourd, peanut like in form, which appeared to be strapped to his back. At that moment, his deep, sea green eyes met her cornflower blue ones and twinkled with the deepest love.

In one swift movement she felt strong arms wrapped around her in a zealous embrace. Her breath caught halfway up her trachea as she realized that those eyes, normally so gloomy and melancholic, were now zesty and full of life. “Alicia”, he said, “I knew it was my destiny to take this quest into your world in search of my one true soul mate. You were the only one who ever understood my pain and suffering.” Alicia was not only shocked but stunned at his declaration of love for her. She had always known that he was more than a few cells of color, trapped in the vice like grip of Cartoon Network. “Gadda!” She exclaimed. “I always knew you were real! But do explain, how do you know of me, and my love for you, my dearest Gadda?” Shaking his head, with eyes betraying a great discontentment, he let out an enormous sigh of frustration. “Alicia, my love, my world, have you honestly forgotten how to even pronounce my name?” Alicia was taken aback. “But, Gadda, that’s how they say your name on Cartoon Network…” His look of discontentment turned to one which displayed disgust. “How can you stand that? They make me sound like a child molester. You wouldn’t want people to have misconceptions about your love, would you?” She shook her head fervently. “Good,” He said, “So now you know my true voice, and that my name is Gaara. And now I shall tell you more about your true identity, darling.” He cast a furtive glance around the mattress store. “But first, let’s go somewhere a bit more private.” Alicia couldn’t help but feel that the whole scene had an eerie and surrealistic quality to it, much like when you’re in a foreign city, and Jeopardy comes on at seven-thirty pm instead of seven. However, she chose to trust him, after all, he was her beloved Gaara, the sand nin of her fantasies.

After finding a quiet hilltop outside of town, Gaara began his woeful tale. “Ok, Alicia, this may come as a shock to you, but just listen, and trust me, my love.” She nodded and stared deeply into his soulful eyes. And with one last intense gaze, he began. “You are the only sister of Orochimaru, the Great Pedophiliac Sannin Ninja. When we were young, you were sent to live in the secret village of the Sand. You were the only one who did not call me a monster. You were the only one who did not shun me. You were my only hope, my only light, my only reason for waking up in the morning. I have loved you, and only you, since those innocent days. Alicia, do you not remember the teddy bear I gave you, the one I carried during all those long, hard years of loneliness and despair? It is a symbol of our love. Please, tell me this, Alicia KOO-WEN-SHEE, can we began where we left off? Will you be my one true love?”

Eyes brimming with tears of gleeful joy, Alicia said, “Yes! Yes, my Gaara, I will!” He went on; “Do you know that you are the real reason I tattooed the symbol of love on my forehead? Kishimoto lied!” He exclaimed, throwing a fist of fiery passion into the air. “Ever since the day you were taken from me, my life has been an ever growing well of darkness and despair. I knew I had to find you, or lose my self forever.”

Months passed, but to Alicia’s glad heart, they felt like mere minutes. It seemed no time at all before she and Gaara were scouting out apartments, buying kitchenware, adopting pets, and planning their overly flamboyant and showy wedding. Alicia could not recall a time when she had been so happy. It seemed that life was finally going her way. She was no longer plagued by the nightmares of her past, and even her days at school seemed to fly by. The doleful notes of her favorite Dashboard Confessional songs never brought tears to her eyes again. Winter melted into spring, which in turn became summer, and Gaara and Alicia could not have been happier. They cherished the moments that they spent together, they were, in fact, inseparable. They ate hot dogs in Central Park, watched fireworks under a romantic night sky, they even kissed under the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France. They did everything together. Little did she know that their times of being happily emo together would soon come to an end.

It happened on a particularly sultry morning around the end of the summer months. Gaara was extolling Alicia on the virtues of their new sleep number bed. “Twenty-six!” he said, “Who would have ever thought that we would share the same sleep number? I never knew that my insomnia would be cured so easily!! Even my three-inch thick dark circles are disappearing! It’s amazing!” Alicia smiled appreciatively and said, “Do you know what today is, Gaara my love?” Feigning ignorance, he cocked his head to one side and said, “No idea. No clue. I couldn’t tell you if I tried.” After throwing a pillow at his raccoon like face, she said, “It’s our day, darling, we’ve been together exactly 6 months.” A jovial smile played across his face, ecstatic in expression, as he replied, “O rly?” She leaned to him, embracing him tightly while caressing his hair. “Ya rly, babe.” Pausing for a moment, she had an unrelenting desire for milk and chocolate chip cookies. Much to her dismay, Gaara used the last bit of milk earlier that morn. “Gaara my dearest, love of my life, will you get me some milk? Dairy barn is having a sale, 5% off! I simply must have a chocolate chip cookie as well.” With a small scoff he replied, “Yes honey, anything you ask!”

A moment later Alicia was in the kitchen preparing a lavish brunch to enjoy with her sweet little Gaa-gaa. She sang softly to herself, “Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember, I'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late and this walk that we shared together. The streets were wet and the gate was locked so I jumped it, and I let you in, and you stood at your door with your hands on my waist, and you kissed me like you meant it. And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it, that you meant it, and I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it.” Just as the final notes of the song were leaving her lips, she felt a strong hand clamp around her mouth, while a cold voice whispered in her ear, “Don’t scream.” A strange smell filled her nostrils and everything faded to black, blacker than the disappearing rings around the eyes of her love, blacker than her heart.

When Gaara arrived back at their apartment, milk in hand, he found a Post-It note stuck on the refrigerator, hand-cut in the shape of a heart. His first thought was that Alicia had stepped out and was considerate enough to leave a note. A heart-shaped note, nonetheless. However, upon further inspection, he realized that the handwriting was most certainly unfamiliar, and that a note so sinister in nature could not possibly have come from the gentle hands of his true love. His world came crashing down like the buildings of credit card companies at the end of Fight Club as he read the fateful words on the note. His eyes must have roamed over those diabolical words at least sixty-seven-point-three times before they actually sank in.

“Dear Coon Skin Tom - I have kidnapped Alicia and taken her as my bride. If you wish to win her back, you must travel to the Narutoverse and battle with me for her heart. With Loathe, Uchiha Itachi.”

Gaara’s first thought was “Oh man, Uchiha Itachi, isn’t he from the same organization as that guy who sat on me?” This thought was quickly followed by, “Oh Noes! Alicia! My precious Darling Dearest Sunflower of Love! What has he done to her?! My Water Lilly of Hope! My Lotus of Inspiration! My Dandelion of Light! My Tiger-Lily of Happiness! My Rose of Passion! My Fern of Delight! Wherever could she be!?!?!?!?” Which was quickly followed by, “What did he call me?” Once Gaara could wrap his mind around the words on the Post It in front of him, his face contorted into an expression of utmost horror and rage. He knew he had to act, and quickly at that. Throwing fifteen sticks of eyeliner, three studded belts, and twenty-seven pairs of girl jeans into a duffel, he quickly made his exit. As he locked the apartment indefinitely, he vowed that he would find his beloved and bring her safely back home.

Meanwhile, at the Akatsuki head quarters, Alicia opened her cornflower blue orbs and surveyed the scene before her. She seemed to be in some sort of dark cave where bats of every form and species flew through the air, exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. She was frightened and confused as the entire tragic scene from the kitchen rushed into her brain. Her face contorted into something very unlike pleasure as she said, “Gasp! Shock! Horror! Woe! What has become of me? Where is my Leek of Love? My Cauliflower of Hope? My Lettuce of Inspiration? My Onion of Light! My Asparagus of Happiness! My Cabbage of Passion! My Celery of Delight! Wherever could he be!?!?!?!?!?!?!” At that precise moment, and not a moment sooner, a man resembling a shark strolled in wearing a distinctive watermelon fedora. “Hey.” He said, adding a fish-like glug. “I know you're Itachi’s girl, but as soon as I saw you, I knew it was love. Let’s go to the Hidden Village of the Mist and hire that one Elvis impersonator guy to marry us. What do you say, glug?” Alicia developed a distinct wrinkle in her nose as a look of disgust swept across her face. This however, did nothing to mar her eternal and unrelenting and everlasting and undeniable beauty. Looking directly into the shark man’s beady eyes, she replied calmly, “I could never love you. You look like a fish, and I prefer raccoons.” He flailed like a fish out of water as he became Jack’s broken heart. But before he knew what had hit him, his legs fell beneath him and his arms were rendered useless.

“Kisame!” That cold voice called out, “What makes you think that you could possibly be good enough for my Alicia? Don’t you realize that you look like a fish? You think that you are a shark, but you’re nothing but a guppy.” Kisame sulked while attempting to regain his composure. He began to look more like a jellyfish as he contemplated new ways to win the fair heart of his beloved Alicia. “Alicia, my fair maiden,” Itachi said, his cold and cruel voice suddenly developing a warm and loving tone, “Won’t you accompany me to the criminal ball? It is a special ball reserved only for S-ranked criminals and their girlfriends. It would be my pleasure to have you at my side.” He made a long, low, and sweeping bow and held one black finger-nailed hand out in her general direction. Thinking that the hardened criminal before her was possibly insane and more than likely unstable, Alicia accepted his offer, not wanting to see what would happen if she were to decline, both to herself and to her beloved Gaara. “I only hope my precious cabbage comes to rescue me soon! I’m a damsel in distress, after all, and he is my Prince Charming!!” She allowed Itachi to lead her down a dismal hallway to a very large, very ornate wooden door. “Don’t worry, my delicate flower, everything that you need is behind that door. I shall return for you in about half an hour.” He said, a small smile touching the edge of his lips as he skipped off down the hallway into the night. With her pale slender hand, Alicia turned the large doorknob that was curiously weasel like in form and entered the grandiose and eloquent room.

There was an enormous four poster bed in the center of the circular room. Resting upon it was the most beautiful gown Alicia had ever laid eyes on. Assuming that it was meant for her, she slipped into the lacy cornflower blue gown that perfectly accentuated her cornflower blue orbs. She was surprised that it fit so well, seeming as if it was made just for her. “Do you like it?” A voice whispered, coming seemingly from nowhere at all. She whipped around to find herself face to face with a man she had never seen before. “I made it just for you.” He said smiling playfully at her. “Who are you?” She asked, staring questioningly at him. “Kakuzu. Sewing is my specialty. So, do you like it?” She replied, “Oh um, yes, I suppose.” Relief swept over his features as he said, “Fantastic. Now my love, I want you to come with me. We will live in harmony forever, and I shall even share my gold and riches with you, for you are fairer than all of the gold in the world. I would give up all of my fortunes in exchange for your love.” Alicia began stammering a reply when the door flew open with a crash. “Kakuzu!” Itachi yelled, anger pouring from his being. “Were you hitting on my precious bendy straw? How dare you!” He swept Alicia off of her feet and carried her from the room.

Once they were safely out of range, Itachi gently set her on her feet and brushed her hair out of her stunningly gorgeous eyes. “Meeting you has made me wish that I could reverse every horrible thing I’ve ever done. I wish that I could be someone that you could be proud of, someone that you love and call your own. I wish I could be a good enough shinobi to deserve you as my bride. Fortunately, you don’t have much of a choice, do you?” He smiled at her lovingly and with just the smallest hint of malice and then turned to led her to the ball. Alicia was surprised with the warmth of the greeting that they received. It seemed that she was the guest of honor at this murderous masquerade, being accompanied by the famed Uchiha Itachi. As she looked around the great ballroom she first noticed the severed heads of former criminals strung like some kind of grotesque party lights with candles in their mouths. The second thing that caught her attention was the garlands of human fingers, apparently from former hostages who were unlucky enough to perish at the hand’s of this great organization. She also noticed the decorative blood splatters that graced the grey stone walls. The last decoration that managed to catch her attention was the hot pink feather boas that hung from the ceiling like streamers. There was even a man in a funny orange mask batting at them like a kitten. “Don’t mind Tobi,” Itachi said, “He’s just a n00b.” Alicia nodded and clung tightly to Itachi, not wanting her grammatical prowess to begin slipping into “ur’s”; and she wasn’t thinking of the city-state in Sumer.

Suddenly, a shrill voice called from behind the finger-strung pillar before them. “Jashin-samaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!~” A deranged looking black and white man shouted, rushing at Alicia with a large three bladed scythe. She screamed loudly before realizing that he was bowing and kissing her feet profusely. Shooting a questioning glance at Itachi, she noticed that now every eye in the room was trained on her. “Hidan,” Itachi said, “Will you please remove your lips from the princess’s feet before I go old skool on you?” Hidan stood up and gave Itachi a murderous glare. Fortunately, at that moment, Kakuzu appeared and managed to subdue his partner, and they both skulked off into the night. With that little episode over, Itachi leaned over and whispered in a tender and soothing voice, “Let’s blow this popsicle stand…” They made a quick exit and walked to the front of the bat cave. “Wait here.” He exited the cave, and Alicia’s mind wandered back to her own universe and the dark ringed eyes of that guy she used to know. “I wonder what he is up to these days? I kind of miss him.” She thought to herself. “What was his name again? Gandalf? Gary? Gipple? Greg? Gerald? Gustav! Yes, that must be it, Gustav! I wonder how Old Gustav is doing nowadays…” Suddenly, Itachi appeared beside her, wrapping her in his warm embrace. With a smooth and suave voice he said, “You seem distracted, my love. Are you ok?” Within seconds, all of her thoughts about Gustav had evaporated into nothingness. “I’m fine.” She replied. He smiled maniacally, which she thought was rather dashing, and said, “Come with me, my dear twinkly princess!”

He led her to the mouth of the cave and rolled the stone back for her so that they could exit. “After you, my dear.” He crooned. She walked through the mouth of the cave and found herself staring at the most spectacular minivan she had ever seen. Here eyes were as wide as saucers as she said, “Wow, my weasel of light! Is that for me?” He shook his head and chuckled slightly, “No my KOO-WEN-SHEE, it’s mine. You, however, will be mine as well, and shall accompany me to the showing of ‘Love Story’ at the drive in.” She nodded and jumped up and down in a lively and energetic manner. Itachi grinned widely and joined her in these antics. When they were done, he opened the passenger door for her and she hopped in. How chivalrous. Upon their arrival, Itachi turned on his CD player as he waited for Love Story to start. Alicia squirmed upon the realization that the music was not quite up to her emo standards. “What is this?” She asked. “It’s At The Drive-In. And we’re at the drive in. I thought it would be soooo kawaiiii! KAWAII DESU!!!” he screamed the last part while bouncing up and down in his seat. “Nani?” She asked, staring at him in wonderment. “No, my dear Itachi, I think that Death Cab for Cutie suits our mood much better.” Looking rather dejected, he removed the CD from the CD player and dug around for something a bit more emo. “Too bad I don’t have Sasuke’s CD case with me…” he muttered under his breath. “That guy has more Death Cab CD’s than the Virgin Megastore…” With that her eyes lit up with joy. “Sasuke? Oh yeah, I remember him. When do I get to meet him? Oh, when I left off he was about to fight Gustav. How did he do?” Itachi replied, “Gustav?” After a moment of confused silence, the movie began and the previews stared to roll.

After the movie was over, Itachi turned to Alicia, grabbing both her hands in a burst of passion. “‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry’, eh? Well, my dear KOO-WEN-SHEE, I would say sorry to you every day. I would repent for every bad thing I have ever done, just to make you smile.” Tears of happiness welled up in her eyes and she threw her arms around him in the biggest hug ever. Any remaining thoughts of Gustav left her mind entirely. “Alicia my dear? Can you hear the bells? They’re very loud today…” Itachi sighed as he drove off into the night.

While his potential fiancé was in the process of forgetting him, Gaara remembered her all too well. He ran with all his might toward Konohagakure and with every pounding step he thought of only her. “I must save her.” He said out loud. “That weasel, Itachi, doesn’t deserve to be in the same universe with her, much less the same bat cave.” The thought of this atrocity twisted his raccoon like face into an angry scowl. He started to run so fast that sand began to pour out of his peanut like gourd. When he reached the village of Konoha, he was so tired that he nearly collapsed. Serendipitously, Naruto happened to walk by at that exact moment, along with his best buddy Sasuke. “Gaara! What are you doing here, Dattebayo?” Gaara tried to mutter a reply, but his mouth was full of sand, just like his heart, which was heavy for his precious moonshine darling duck. “What’s wrong, Dattebayo?” Naruto said, his foxy face full of questions. After Gaara regained his composure, he regaled them with the full story of everything that had happened to him and his dearest KOO-WEN-SHEE. As he spoke, a small group gathered around him, and before he finished, the entire lot of them was in tears. At the end of his tragic story, there were several moments of silence while people sniffled away their tears. “I will help you Gaara-kun! We will use the power of youth to retrieve your bonnie lass! YOSH!!!~” Rock Lee exclaimed, striking a nice guy pose with a sparkle in his teeth and a shine in his hair. With that, he jumped off into the night day. “He’s right, Dattebayo!” Naruto yelled out, jumping to his feet and upsetting his bowl of ramen, which spilled all down his front. “Nani?” Sasuke said, casting a questioning glance at him. But it was too late, for Naruto and Lee were already well on their way to the bat cave. With a bored look on his face, Sasuke followed after, secretly formulating a new plan to kill his Onii-san. Shocked by the massive amount of support from his fellow shinobi, Gaara wiped his eyes and nose with a sand tissue in the shape of a butterfly and set off behind them.

After a very short amount of time, the KOO-WEN-SHEE retrieval team arrived at the bat cave. Their jaws dropped as they noticed the large, shiny minivan sitting outside of the cave. “Woah.” Rock Lee said. “Is that the Batmobile? Amazing! YOSH!!!” Naruto muttered a “Dattebayo” of surprise and Neji squeed a little with glee. Unable to ignore the massive amounts of commotion occurring outside of their hideout, Itachi and Kisame traipsed outside, Alicia clawing onto Itachi’s arm. “What is all of this non-sense?” Itachi asked, looking over all of the members of the KOO-WEN-SHEE retrieval team, his eyes finally settling on Gaara. “Cool, are you batman?” Kiba asked, “And and and, is that Robin?” With a clear note of sinister evil dewm in his voice, Itachi replied, “Nani?” This was more than enough to shut Kiba up…forever. It was at that precise moment, or perhaps half a moment later, when Gaara noticed his beloved Mango Cucumber Swan, Alicia, clinging to the arm of his arch nemesis. “NANI IS THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?” He screamed at the top of his lungs while pointing an accusing finger at the couple. “Oh, Gustav, it’s only you.” Alicia sad, flicking a dismissive hand in his general direction. Not noticing that Gaara appeared to have been impaled through the heart, Naruto and Sasuke ran toward Alicia, already forming a rivalry for her affections. “When I become Hokage, you can rule at my side, Dattebayo!!” Naruto yelled rather alarmingly. “Don’t listen to him!” Sasuke said, a gleam of desperation in his eye at Naruto’s tempting offer. “I will give up my plans of revenge for you! You can help me revive the prestigious Uchiha clan. Our children will have blood line limits! You can’t say no to that!!!” Alicia wrinkled her nose and looked at Itachi imploringly. “Foolish little brother.” Itachi growled. His brother was always ruining his fun. “My children with Alicia would have bloodline limits as well. Not only that, but they would be the spawn of Akatsuki and I would have nine ready-made baby sitters. It’s obvious who wins this quarrel. As usual, you silly little boy, your arguments are made of fail.”

During his rather boring monologue, Alicia began to notice the startling mega bishounen standing amongst the retrieval team. His glossy smooth locks were black as ravens, and they shone with the light of a thousand suns. His beautiful buggy eyes were bright with the vigor of youth and were perfectly suited for his flawless eyebrows. There was a sparkle at the corner of his mouth as he stuck his youthful nice guy pose. Oh how she wanted to hold the hand from which his thumb was protruding. He had an impeccable sense of fashion, as indicated by his skintight green jumpsuit and orange legwarmers. Suddenly, bloodline limits seemed pathetic and weak, and all she could think about was her insatiable desire to bear his children. Giving into her urge, she ran over to the dashing boy and glomped him. When he finally managed to push her off, she said excitedly, “Oh my god! Gumby was my favorite ever show as a child, you remind me so much of him!! Let’s make babies, plz.” She failed to notice that Lee was already shooting hearts out of his eyes at Sakura. When she finally realized that she was being ignored, she grabbed his arm and said, “Hey, don’t you realize that I am already completely in love with you?” Gaara glared at them menacingly and said, “I might have won the fight in the Chunnin exams, but Lee won your heart, which is the only thing I truly care about...." As tears fell down from his eyes, he added, "There’s only one thing you should know, I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn’t even matter."